Top Concerns
8 Tips for Fighting Fair
All relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something, it doesn't have to mean you don't like each other! When you have a problem:
- Negotiate a time to talk about it. Don't have difficult conversations when you are very angry or tired. Ask, "When is a good time to talk about something that is bothering me?"
- Don't criticize. Attack the problem, not the other person. Open sensitive conversations with "I" statements; talk about how you struggle with the problem. Don't open with "you" statements; avoid blaming the other person for your thoughts and feelings. Healthy relationships don't blame.
- Stay with the topic. Don't use a current concern as a reason to jump into everything that bothers you. Healthy relationships don't use ammunition from the past to fuel the present.
- Say, "I'm sorry" when you're wrong. It goes a long way in making things right again. Healthy relationships can admit mistakes.
- Don't assume things. When we feel close to someone it's easy to think we know how he or she thinks and feels. 911±¬ÁÏÍø can be very wrong! Healthy relationships check things out.
- Take a time-out. If you want to yell and scream, take a time out to calm yourself down and come back to the conversation later.
- There may not be a resolved ending. Be prepared to compromise or to disagree about some things. Healthy relationships don't demand conformity or perfect agreement.
- Don't hold grudges. Healthy relationships don't hold on to past hurts and misunderstandings.
Adapted from